Damaged, sick, weird, warped and fractured.
All words that have been used to describe the tarnished mirror inside me that reflects some of the words I put together on the page.
I sometimes wish that this were true and that what I put on the page is the light of the world refracted through the murk of my soul.
"How do you come up with this shite?" a friend recently asked.
I wish it were that I make it up but, the scary thing is that the real world is infinitely more damaged that I could ever make it.
I've browsed through my note book yesterday and in the last month or so, the world around me has seen cruelty and horror on a scale my mind cannot fathom.
I find the world around me numb to the horrors reported in places like Syria. The Spanish train crash causes a collecive "ohh... how sad" around the lunch table, and that probably because the new intern, Sarah is half Spanish.
Girls as young as eleven and regularly "married" off to men in their late 40's. And if they're lucky, rape is all they have to face. Some of them face genital mutilation as well. Almost like a bonus, you know.
Yesterday, a little boy smiles out at me through the pages of the tabloids and the magic box. He looks happy.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-23544717
He looks like a boy I would come home and find in my son's bedroom. A classmate, come for a play day and regaled and scared by stories of the strange things that Dad would cook for dinner.
"Is that really fried maggots and scorpion eggs, Mr Chang?!" I tell them it is and after they scoff down the fried rice, I tell them we'll have unicorn eyeballs for afters.
I wish I could have written this little boys story. I would make his story as vile, reprehensible and sick as I could. I would make it all up and keep it locked inside me.
Daniel Pelka could then have the other world. The one that we all pretend is the one we are surrounded with.
I think Daniel Pelka would have liked a play-day with a friend. The two of them lost in a make-believe world populated with brave bears and noble apes. A world of Lego, Ben 10 and Star Wars.
I would have liked to have gifted him that if I could. If I could have made up the pain, fear and sick depravity he lived for four years, I would. I would gladly write it all down and swallow it up. Keep it locked up between the covers of a book and leave him to live as he should have.
All words that have been used to describe the tarnished mirror inside me that reflects some of the words I put together on the page.
I sometimes wish that this were true and that what I put on the page is the light of the world refracted through the murk of my soul.
"How do you come up with this shite?" a friend recently asked.
I wish it were that I make it up but, the scary thing is that the real world is infinitely more damaged that I could ever make it.
I've browsed through my note book yesterday and in the last month or so, the world around me has seen cruelty and horror on a scale my mind cannot fathom.
I find the world around me numb to the horrors reported in places like Syria. The Spanish train crash causes a collecive "ohh... how sad" around the lunch table, and that probably because the new intern, Sarah is half Spanish.
Girls as young as eleven and regularly "married" off to men in their late 40's. And if they're lucky, rape is all they have to face. Some of them face genital mutilation as well. Almost like a bonus, you know.
Yesterday, a little boy smiles out at me through the pages of the tabloids and the magic box. He looks happy.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-23544717
He looks like a boy I would come home and find in my son's bedroom. A classmate, come for a play day and regaled and scared by stories of the strange things that Dad would cook for dinner.
"Is that really fried maggots and scorpion eggs, Mr Chang?!" I tell them it is and after they scoff down the fried rice, I tell them we'll have unicorn eyeballs for afters.
I wish I could have written this little boys story. I would make his story as vile, reprehensible and sick as I could. I would make it all up and keep it locked inside me.
Daniel Pelka could then have the other world. The one that we all pretend is the one we are surrounded with.
I think Daniel Pelka would have liked a play-day with a friend. The two of them lost in a make-believe world populated with brave bears and noble apes. A world of Lego, Ben 10 and Star Wars.
I would have liked to have gifted him that if I could. If I could have made up the pain, fear and sick depravity he lived for four years, I would. I would gladly write it all down and swallow it up. Keep it locked up between the covers of a book and leave him to live as he should have.
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